Oh man, I have the BIGGEST crush on ever on my dog trainer. He lives on my floor, and I run into him daily. He's I kid you not, in the top five hottest guys I've ever seen in my life -- 1. Ryan Gosling 2. Jason Schwartzman 3. This guy.

He's one of those guys that is not only an entrepreneur (which is an absolute must for me) he's owns doggie outdoor day camp, but he's a wonderfully talented dog trainer. He's also an artist, and rides a motorcycle. Girls swoon and fall out of their chairs when they meet him. I found a blog he used to write and he's super in touch with his feelings, in a totally non-girly kind of way.

Well anyway, I've been trying to woo him with my personality. You see with a guy this handsome, pretty girls flaunt themselves at him constantly. In fact, it's been suspected that one girl on my floor has been doing that exact thing. I met her while walking my dog, told her I was considering dog lessons with this guy and she was like "OH, I hang out with him ALL the time."

Go on, try to claim your territory... A little challenge never bothers me.

So the challenge is, how can I win him with my witty banter, my intellect, and my complete zest for life?! This girl is very pretty.

Step #1:

Email him for dog training and give him some sort of totally weird but true compliment

" Hey, I know this is kind of a strange things to say, but you seem to be definition of zen, what is your secret?" I said. He of course is amused at this comment, Come to find out he lived in India for a year and used to meditate up to 14 hours a day in an ashram.

Now I like him even more. Dammit!

Step #2: 

When I run into him, casually mention that I just came back from the funnest dates ever

(which was true) and he leans in and wants to know all about it. This could put me in the friend zone, OR it could allow him to visualize what a fun lady I am. Living my life, and not secretly wishing that it was he and I that were on the date!

Step #3: 

Mention my Ikea dating experiences.

He cracks up laughing hysterically. I say, "Why date for reals, when everything is SO MUCH MORE FUN as a social experiment!?" He agrees. This is setting up the impression to him that I am not desperately seeking a boyfriend but having fun AND getting shit off my to-do list.

Step #4:

Never give him oogly eyes...

Don't touch your hair.. Always be the first to walk away from a conversation. Leaving him wanting more.

Step #5: 

Hire him to be my dog trainer.

Now I desperately need dog training, so this is no rouse. Picasso has been acting aggressive upon meeting new dogs, and I have almost PTSD syndrome from a horrible experience I had with a previous aggressive dog. This has allowed me to get some amazing one-on-one time with him...and get something off my to-do list AND he also gets to see me vulnerable.... then overcome major challenges. This is bonding.

The most hilarious thing I said during our first training session... "I will do whatever you tell me to do." The look on his face was seriously priceless. Like he couldn't believe I had just said that. Showing him respect and also making his mind wander! Mmhhmm totally planned.

Step #6: 

Take the additional free 30 minutes of training, no charge.

We meet a second time, he gives me another 30 minutes for free. I ask him how much I owe him and he said -- Nothing. I say "You need to get paid!" He's like "I'm terrible with this stuff."

Step #7:

Slip a check under the door for $100, for 30 minutes training in the subject line.

With a note that says, "You should really be charging $200 an hour because that is what I charge, and I feel that you are worth that, and I want you to get used to being paid that much." With some other tips on how to increase pricing in his business without pissing off his current customers.

His Text Response via Getting My Note and Check:
"Just read your note Miss, Super sweet of you, definitely hits home. your words will not be taken lightly." Hope you have a great day.

His Email Response 8 hours later:
"I just have to say that I love your energy and outtake on life miss. It is not surprising to me AT ALL that you are having the success that you are with your business. You seem to be going with the flow of your life, unbounded and free and along the way helping people do that same. Congrats to you and I look forward to meeting with you and seeing your growth in the future miss!

A big cheers to you darlin!"


Now, I have no idea if anything is going to happen with this guy, but he SURE makes going to the elevator a little bit more exciting..... and a girl can dream right!?